Memorable Quotes

"We are visitors on this planet. We are here for ninety, a hundred years at the very most. During that period we must try to do something good, something useful with our lives. Try to be at peace with yourself and help others share that peace. If you contribute to other people's happiness, you will find the true goal, the true meaning of life."

~ The Dalai Lama

"Aim for success, not perfection. Never give up your right to be wrong, because then you will lose the ability to learn new things and to move forward with your life."

~ Dr. David Burns

"All men should strive to learn before they die, what they are running from, and to, and why."

~ James Thurber

"A substantial part of what lies ahead of you is going to be claimed by boredom. No college prepares you for that eventuality .... You'll be bored with your work, your friends, your spouses, your lovers, the view from your window, the furniture or wallpaper in your room, your thoughts, yourselves. Accordingly, you'll try to devise ways of escape ... you may take up changing your job, residence, company, country, climate; you may take up promiscuity, alcohol, travel, cooking lessons, drugs, psychoanalysis. But, if it takes will-paralyzing boredom to bring your significance home, then hail the boredom. You are insignificant because you are finite .... And the more finite a thing is, the more it is charged with life, emotions, joy, fears and compassion."

~ Joseph Brodsky

When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left and could say, "I used everything you gave me."

 ~ Erma Bombeck

First I was dying to finish high school and start college.
Then I was dying to finish college and start working.
Then I was dying to marry and have children.
Then I was dying for my children to grow old enough for school so I could return to work.
And then I was dying to retire.
And now, I am dying – and suddenly I realize that I forgot to live.

~ Unknown

Man knocked down 7 times should get up 8.

~ Confucius

If you can imagine it, you can achieve it.
If you can dream it, you can become it.

~ Unknown

The more I learn, the more I realize I don't know.

~Albert Einstein

Imagination is more important than knowledge.

~Albert Einstein

Do not quench your inspiration and your imagination; do not become the slave of your model.

~Vincent van Gogh

Today is the beginning of a new day.
God has given me this day to use as I will.
I can waste it ... or use it for good.
But what I do today is important because
I am exchanging a day of my life for it.
When tomorrow comes,
This day will be gone forever.
Leaving in its place
Something that I have traded for it.
I want it to be gain and not loss,
Good and not evil,
Success and not failure,
In order that I shall not regret
The price that I have paid for it.

~ Unknown

Desiderata

Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender
be on good terms with all people.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to all even to the dull and ignorant;
they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive people,
they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself to others
you will become vain and bitter;
there will always be greater and lesser
persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.

Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs;
for the world is full of trickery.
But let not this blind you to the virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself especially do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
it is as perennial as the grass.
Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.

Nurture strength of spirit
to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline be gentle with yourself.

You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have the right to be here.
and whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be.
And whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

~Max Ehrmann

There is no security on this earth: there is only opportunity

~ Douglas MacArthur

To laugh often and much;
To win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children;
To earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends;
To appreciate beauty, to find the best in others;
To leave the world a bit better,
whether by a healthy child, a garden, or a redeemed social condition;
To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived.
This is to have succeeded.

~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

I like the silent church before the service begins, better than any preaching.

~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

The author in his work should be like God in the Universe - everywhere present,
nowhere visible.

~ Gustave Flaubert

Writing a novel is like driving at night during a fog -
you can only see as far as your headlights,
but you can make the whole trip that way.

~ Unknown

Never eat yellow snow.

~ Unknown

Diplomacy is the art of saying "Nice doggie," until you can find a rock.

~ Unknown

My karma ran over my dogma.

~ Unknown

If the world should blow itself up, the last audible voice would be that of an expert saying it can’t be done.

~ Peter Ustinov

In certain circumstances, urgent circumstances, desperate circumstances, profanity furnishes a relief denied even to prayer.

~ Mark Twain

By working faithfully eight hours a day, you may eventually get to be a boss and work twelve hours a day.

~ Robert Frost

Have more than thou showest; speak less than thou knowest.

~ William Shakespeare

I am still learning.

~ Michelangelo

Break out from the inside, and your power is strong.   Break in from the outside, and your power is weak.

~ Chogyam Trungpa

“Verily the lust for comfort murders the passion of the soul and then walks grinning in the funeral.”

 ~ Kahlil Gibran

Many people hear voices when no one is there. Some of them are called mad and are shut up in rooms where they stare at the walls all day. Others are called writers and they do pretty much the same thing.

~ Meg Chittenden

The Paradox of our Time
The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings, but shorter tempers; wider freeways, but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but have less; we buy more, but enjoy it less. We have bigger houses and smaller families; more conveniences, but less time; we have more degrees, but less sense; more knowledge, but less judgment; more experts, but more problems; more medicine, but less wellness. We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry too quickly, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too seldom, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom. We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often. We've learned how to make a living, but not a life; we've added years to life, not life to years. We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet the new neighbor. We've conquered outer space, but not inner space. We've done larger things, but not better things.

We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We've split the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We've learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold more information to produce more copies than ever, but have less communication. These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion; tall men, and short character; steep profits, and shallow relationships. These are the times of world peace, but domestic warfare; more leisure, but less fun; more kinds of food, but less nutrition. These are days of two incomes, but more divorce; of fancier houses, but broken homes. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throw-away morality, one-night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer to quiet, to kill. It is a time when there is much in the show window and nothing in the stockroom; a time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to share this insight, or to just hit delete.

 by George Carlin

Advice written by: Mary Schmich for the Chicago Tribune 1997

If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience... I will dispense this advice now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth - oh, never mind, you will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded. But trust me, in 20 years you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked. You are not as fat as you imagine.

Don't worry about the future; or, worry. But know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind; the kind that blindside you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday.  Do one thing every day that scares you.

Sing.

Don't be reckless with other people's hearts. Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.

Floss.

Don't waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind....the race is long, and in the end, it's only with yourself.

Remember the compliments you receive, and forget the insults. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.

Keep your old love letters. Throw away your old bank statements.

Stretch.

Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life... the most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know still don't.

Get plenty of calcium.

Be kind to your knees. You'll miss them when they're gone.

Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll divorce at 40.  Maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary. Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself either. Your choices are half chance. So are everybody else's.

Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can. Don't be afraid of it, or what other people think of it. It's the greatest instrument you'll ever own.

Dance. Even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room.

Read the directions, even if you don't follow them.

Do NOT read beauty magazines. They will only make you feel ugly.

Get to know your parents. You never know when they'll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings. They are the best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.

Understand that friends come and go, but for the precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle - because the older you get, the more you need the people you knew when you were young.

Live in New York city once, but leave before it makes you hard. Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.

Travel.

Accept certain inalienable truths: Prices will rise, politicians will philander, and you too will get old.  And when you do, you'll fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble, and children respected their elders.   Respect your elders.

Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund, maybe you have a wealthy spouse; but you never know when either one might run out.

Don't mess too much with your hair; or by the time you're 40, it will look 85.

Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia.  Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts, and recycling it for more than it's worth.

But trust me on the sunscreen.

~ Lyrics to the Baz Luhrman song : Everybody's Free to wear Sunscreen released 1999

It's a great honor for me to be the third member of my family to receive an honorary doctorate from this great university. It's an honor to follow my great uncle Jim, who was a gifted physician, and my Uncle Jack, who is a remarkable businessman. Both of them could have told you something important about their professions, about medicine or commerce. I have no specialized field of interest or expertise, which puts me at a disadvantage talking to you today. I'm a novelist. My work is human nature. Real life is all I know.
Don't ever confuse the two, your life and your work. The second is only part of the first. Don't ever forget what a friend once wrote Senator Paul Tsongas when the Senator decided not to run for reelection because he'd been diagnosed with cancer: "No man ever said on his deathbed I wish I had spent more time in the office."

Don't ever forget the words my father sent me on a postcard last year: "If you win the rat race, you're still a rat." Or what John Lennon wrote before he was gunned down in the driveway of the Dakota: "Life is what happens while you are busy making other plans."

You walk out of here this afternoon with only one thing that no one else has. There will be hundreds of people out there with your same degree; there will be thousands of people doing what you want to do for a living. But you will be the only person alive who has sole custody of your life...your particular life...your entire life. Not just your life at a desk, or your life on a bus, or in a car, or at the computer. Not just the life of your mind, but the life of your heart. Not just your bank account, but your soul.

People don't talk about the soul very much anymore. It's so much easier to write a resume than to craft a spirit. But a resume is a cold comfort on a winter night, or when you're sad, or broke, or lonely, or when you've gotten back the test results and they're not so good.

Here is my resume. I am a good mother to three children. I have tried never to let my profession stand in the way of being a good parent. I no longer consider myself the center of the universe. I show up. I listen. I try to laugh.

I am a good friend to my husband. I have tried to make marriage vows mean what they say. I show up. I listen. I try to laugh. I am a good friend to my friends, and they to me. Without them, there would be nothing to say to you today, because I would be a cardboard cutout. But I call them on the phone, and I meet them for lunch. I show up. I listen. I try to laugh.

I would be rotten, or at best mediocre at my job, if those other things were not true. You cannot be really first rate at your work if your work is all you are.

So here's what I wanted to tell you today: Get a life, a real life, not a manic pursuit of the next promotion, the bigger paycheck, the larger house. Do you think you'd care so very much about those things if you blew an aneurysm one afternoon, or found a lump in your breast?

Get a life in which you notice the smell of salt water pushing itself on a breeze over Seaside Heights, a life in which you stop and watch how a red-tailed hawk circles over the water gap or the way a baby scowls with concentration when she tries to pick up a Cheerio with her thumb and first finger. Get a life in which you are not alone. Find people you love, and who love you. And remember that love is not leisure; it is work. Each time you look at your diploma, remember that you are still a student, still learning how to best treasure your connection to others.

Pick up the phone. Send an email. Write a letter. Kiss your Mom. Hug your Dad. Get a life in which you are generous. Look around at the azaleas in the suburban neighborhood where you grew up; look at a full moon hanging silver in a black, black sky on a cold night. And realize that life is the best thing ever, and that you have no business taking it for granted.

Care so deeply about its goodness that you want to spread it around. Take money you would have spent on beers and give it to charity. Work in a soup kitchen. Be a big brother or sister. All of you want to do well. But if you do not do good, too, then doing well will never be enough. It is so easy to waste our lives: our days, our hours, our minutes. It is so easy to take for granted the color of the azaleas, the sheen of the limestone on Fifth Avenue, the color of our kids' eyes, the way the melody in a symphony rises and falls and disappears and rises again. It is so easy to exist instead of live.

I learned to live many years ago. Something really, really bad happened to me, something that changed my life in ways that, if I had my druthers, it would never have been changed at all. And what I learned from it is what today, seems to be the hardest lesson of all. I learned to love the journey, not the destination. I learned that it is not a dress rehearsal, and that today is the only guarantee you get. I learned to look at all the good in the world and to try to give some of it back because I believed in it completely and utterly. And I tried to do that, in part, by telling others what I had learned. By telling them this: Consider the lilies of the field. Look at the fuzz on a baby's ear. Read in the backyard with the sun on your face. Learn to be happy. And think of life as a terminal illness because if you do you will live it with joy and passion, as it ought to be lived.

Well, you can learn all those things, out there, if you get a real life, a full life; a professional life, yes, but another life, too; a life of love and laughs and a connection to other human beings. Just keep you eyes and ears open. Here you could learn in the classroom. There the classroom is everywhere. The exam comes at the very end. No man ever said on his deathbed, "I wish I had spent more time at the office."

I found one of my best teachers on the boardwalk at CoConey Island maybe 15 years ago. It was December, and I was doing a story about how the homeless survive in the winter months. He and I sat on the edge of the wooden supports, dangling our feet over the side, and he told me about his schedule: panhandling the boulevard when the summer crowds were gone, sleeping in a church when the temperature went below freezing, hiding from the police amidst the Tilt-a-Whirl and the Cyclone and some of the other seasonal rides.

But he told me that most of the time he stayed on the boardwalk, facing the water, just the way we were sitting now, even when it got cold and he had to wear his newspapers after he read them. And I asked him why. Why didn't he go to one of the shelters? Why didn't he check himself into the hospital for detox? And he just stared out at the ocean and said, "Look at the view, young lady. Look at the view." And every day, in some little way, I try to do what he said. I try to look at the view. And that's the last thing I have to tell you today, words of wisdom from a man with not a dime in his pocket, no place to go, nowhere to be.

Look at the view.

~ Anna Quindlen's Villanova Commencement Address

Movie Lines

I'm tellin' ya baby, they kicked your little ass there BOY. They whooped your hide REAL good.

Oh, you English, you think you're SO superior, don't you? Well you're the filth of this planet! A bunch of pompous, badly dressed, poverty-stricken, sexually-repressed, football hooligans!

It's thrilling to meet you, Gloria.
Hi.
I I see you have a WAY with words. I look forward to your next syllable with GREAT anticipation.

Every man dies, not every man really lives.

Longshanks: Not the archers. My scouts tell me their archers are miles away and no threat to us.  Arrows cost money. Use up the Irish. Their dead cost nothing.

A lot of alliteration from anxious anchors placed in powerful posts!

(singing to Midnight Train to Georgia) I can sing while I read – I am singing and reading both.

FALLEN

There are moments which mark your life. Moments when you realize nothing will ever be the same and time is divided into two parts: before this and after this. Now sometimes you can feel such a moment coming. That’s the test, or so I tell myself. I tell myself that at times like that strong people keep moving forward anyway, no matter what they’re going to find.

Why thank you.
It’s all right. You’ve never been out of Boston.
Nope.
So if I asked you about art, you’d probably give me the skinny on every art book ever written. Michaelangelo. You probably know a lot about him – his life’s work, political aspirations, him and the Pope, sexual orientation, the whole works, right? But I bet you can’t tell me what it smells like in the Sistine Chapel. You never actually stood there and looked up at that beautiful ceiling – seen that. If I ask you about women – you’d probably give me a syllabus of your personal favorites. You maybe have even been laid a few times. But you can’t tell me what it feels like to wake up next to a woman and feel truly happy. You’re a tough kid. If I asked you about war you’d probably throw Shakespeare at me, right? Once more into the breach, dear friends. But you’ve never been near one. You’ve never held your best friend’s head in your lap and watch him gasp his last breath looking to you for help. I ask you about love – you’d probably quote me a sonnet. But you’ve never looked at a woman and been totally vulnerable – known someone that could level you with her eyes. Feeling like God put an angel on earth just for you, who could rescue you from the depths of Hell. And you wouldn’t know what it’s like to be her angel. To have that love for her be there forever. Through anything. Through cancer. And you wouldn’t know about sleeping sitting up in a hospital room for two months holding her hand because the doctors could see in your eyes the terms ‘visiting hours’ do not apply to you. You don’t know about real loss because that only occurs when you love something more than you love yourself. I doubt you’ve ever dared to love anybody that much. I look at you – I don’t see an intelligent, confident man. I see a cocky, scared-shitless kid. But you’re a genius, Will – no one denies that. No one could possibly understand the depths of you. But you presumed to know everything about me because you saw a painting of mine and you ripped my fucking life apart. You’re an orphan, right? Do you think I’d know the first thing about how hard your life has been, how you feel, who you are, because I read Oliver Twist? Does that encapsulate you? Personally, I don’t give a shit about all that, because you know what? I can’t learn anything from you I can’t read in some fucking book unless you want to talk about you – who you are – am I’m fascinated. I’m in. But you don’t want to do that, do you sport? You’re terrified of what you might say. Your move, chief.

What class did you say that was?
History.
Just history? It must have been a survey course then, huh?
Yeah, it was. It was surveys. You should check it out. It was a good course – it would be a good class.
How’d you like that course?
Frankly, I found the class rather elementary.
Elementary – you know I don’t doubt that it was. I remember that class – it was just between recess and lunch. I was hoping you might give me some insight into the evolution of the market economy in the southern colonies. My contention is that prior to the Revolutionary War, the economic modalities especially in the southern colonies could most aptly be characterized as aggregarian precapital.
Of course that’s your contention. You’re a first year grad student. You just got finished reading some oxian historian – Pete Garrison probably – you’re going to be convinced of that until next month until you get to James Lemon. Then you’re going to be talking about how the economies of Virginia and Pennsylvania were entrepreneurial and capitalist way back in 1740. That’s going to last until next year, you’re going to be in here regurgitating Gordon Wood, talking about the pre-revolutionary utopia and the capital-forming effects of military mobilization.
Well, as a matter-of-fact, I won’t, because Wood drastically underestimates the impact of social….
Wood drastically underestimates the impact of social distinctions predicated upon wealth, especially inherited wealth? You got that from Vickes, right? Work in Essex County, page 98? Yeah, I read that too. Were you going to plagiarize the whole thing for us? Do you have any thoughts of your own on this matter? Or is that your thing – you come into a bar and you read some obscure passage and pawn it off as your own idea just to impress some girls and embarrass my friend? You see the sad thing about a guy like you is in 50 years you’re going to start doing some thinking on your own and you’re going to come up with the fact that there are two certainties in life. Number one, don’t do that and two, you dropped 150 grand on a fucking education you could have got for $1.50 and late charges at the public library.
Yeah? But I will have a degree and you’ll be serving my kids fries at a drive-thru on our way to a skiing trip.
Yeah? Maybe. But at least I won’t be unoriginal.

Top 5 songs about death.  A Laura's Dad tribute list, okay?  Okay. 
Leader of the Pack.  The guy fuckin' beefs it on his motorcycle and dies, right?
Dead Man's Curve.  Jan & Dean.
-- Do you know that right after they recorded that song Jan himself crashed his car ...
It was Dean you fuckin' idiot ...
 It was Jan.  It was a long time after the song.
Okay, whatever. Tell Laura I Love Her.  That would bring the house down - Laura's Mom could sing it.
You know what I'd want?  One Step Beyond by Madness.  And, uh, You Can't Always Get What You Want.
-- No.  Immediate disqualification because of its involvement with THE
BIG CHILL.  
Oh God.  You're right!
-- Wreck of the Edmond Fitzgerald - Gordon Lightfoot.
You bastard!  That's so good - that should have been mine.
(sung to the theme of The Night Chicago Died)....The night Laura's daddy died.  Sha na na na na na na na na!  Brother what a night it really was.  Mother what a night it really ... angina's tough!  Glory be!

(Dread Pirate Roberts climbing the cliffs of insanity, Inigo Montoya waiting for him at the top)
Hello there, slow going? Look I don’t mean to be rude, but this is not as easy as it looks. So, I’d appreciate it if you wouldn’t distract me.
Sorry.
Thank you.
I do not suppose you could speed things up?
If you’re in such a hurry you could lower a rope or a tree branch or find something useful to do.
I could do that. I have got some rope up here, but I don’t think you would accept my help since I am only waiting around to kill you.
That does put a damper on our relationship.
But I promise I will not kill you until you reach the top.
That’s very comforting, but I’m afraid you’ll just have to wait.
I hate waiting. I could give you my word as a Spaniard?
No good. I’ve known too many Spaniards.
Is there any way you trust me?
Nothing comes to mind.
I swear on the soul of my father, Domingo Montoya, you will reach the top alive.
Throw me the rope.
(reaching the top)
Thank you (drawing his sword).
Way, way, way, way, wait until you’re ready.|
Again, thank you.
I do not mean to pry, but you don’t by any chance happen to have six fingers on your right hand?
Do you always begin conversations this way?

Well, if there can be no arrangement, then we are at an impass.
I’m afraid so. I can’t compete with you physically, and you’re no match for my brains.
You’re that smart?
Let me put it to you this way: have you ever heard of Plato? Aristotle? Socrates?
Yes.
Morons.
Really? In that case I challenge you to a battle of wits.
For the Princess? To the death? I accept.
Good, then pour the wine. Inhale this, but do not touch.
I smell nothing.
What you do not smell is called Iocane powder. It is odorless, tasteless, dissolves instantly in liquid, and is among the more deadly poisons known to man. (turns his back and pours it into a cup) All right, where is the poison? The battle of wits has begun. It ends when you decide and we both drink, and find out who is right … and who is dead.
But it’s so simple. All I have to do is divine from what I know of you, are you the sort of man who would put the poison into his own goblet, or his enemies? Now the clever man would put the poison into his own goblet because he would know that only a great fool would reach for what he was given. I am not a great fool, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you. But, you must have known I was not a great fool, you would have counted on it, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me!
You made your decision then?
Not remotely! Because Iocane powder comes from Australia, as everyone knows. And Australia is entirely peopled with criminals, and criminals are used to having people not trust them, as you are not trusted by me, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you!
Truly you have a dizzying intellect.
Wait ‘til I get going! Where was I?
Australia.
Yes, Australia. And you must have suspected I would have known the powder’s origin, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me.
You’re just stalling now.
You’d like to think that, wouldn’t you? You’ve beaten my giant, which means you’re exceptionally strong. So you could have put the poison in your own goblet trusting on your strength to save you, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you. But, you’ve also bested my Spaniard, which means you must’ve studied and in studying you must’ve learned that man is mortal, so you would have put the poison as far away from yourself as possible, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me!
If you’re trying to trick me into giving away something, it won’t work.
It has worked! You’ve given everything away! I know where the poison is!
Then make your choice.
I will, and I choose … what in the world is that? (pointing)
(turning around) What? Where? I don’t see anything.
(switching wine glasses before he turns back around)
Oh, well, I could have sworn I saw something. No matter. (laughing)
What’s so funny?
I’ll tell you in a minute. First, let’s drink. Me from my glass, and you from yours.
(drinking and setting his glass down). You guessed wrong.
You only think I guessed wrong, that’s what’s so funny! I switched glasses when your back was turned! Ha, ha, you fool! You fell victim to one of the classic blunders. The most famous is never get involved in a land war in Asia, but only slightly well known is this: never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line … ah ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha … ah ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha … ah ha, ha, ha … (falling over dead) ~ (the poison was in both glasses – the hero had built up a tolerance to it)

BRIEF INTERVIEWS WITH HIDEOUS MEN "Yes, it was a pickup. Plain and simple. And she was what one might call a granola cruncher. A hippy. And she was straight out of Central casting: the sandals, flamboyantly long hair, financial support from parents she reviled, and some professed membership in an apostrophe-heavy Eastern religion that I defy anyone to pronounce correctly. Look, I'll just bite the political bullet and confess that I classified her as a strictly one-night objective. And that my interest in her was due almost entirely to the fact that yes, she was pretty. She was sexually attractive. She was sexy. And it was really nothing more complicated or noble than that. And having had some prior dealings with the cruncher genus, I think the one-night proviso was due to the grim unimaginability of having to talk with her for more than one night. Whether or not you approve, I think we can assume you understand. And there's something-I mean, near contempt in the way that you can casually saunter over to her blanket and create the sense of connection that will allow you to pick her up. And you almost resent the fact that it's so goddamn easy. I mean, how exploited you feel that it is so easy to get this type to regard you as a kindred soul. You almost know what's going to be said before she even opens her mouth.        Okay, so now there we are in my apartment, and she begins going on about her religious views. Her obscure denomination's views on energy fields and connections between souls via what she kept calling "focus." And in response to some sort of prompt or association, she begins to relate this anecdote. And in the anecdote, there she is: hitchhiking. Well she said she knew she made a mistake the moment she got in the car. Her explanation was that she didn't actually feel any energy field until she shut the car door and they were moving... at which point it was too late. And she wasn't melodramatic about it, but she described herself as literally paralyzed with terror. It was something about his eyes. She said she knew instantly in the depths of her soul that this man's intentions were to brutally rape, torture, and kill her. And that by the time the psychotic had exited into a secluded area and actually said what his true intentions were, she wasn't the least bit surprised because she knew that she was going to be just another grisly discovery for some amateur botanist or scout troupe a few days later-unless she could focus her way into a soul connection that would prevent this man from murdering her. I mean to focus intently on this psychotic as an ensouled and beautiful-albeit tormented-person in his own right, rather than merely as a threat to her. And I'm well aware that what she is about to describe is nothing more than a variant of the stale, old love-will-conquer-all... but for the moment, just bracket your contempt and try to see what she actually has the courage and conviction to really attempt here. Because imagine what it must have felt like for her. For anyone. Contemplate just how little-kid-level scared you would be and that this psychotic could bring you to this point simply by wishing it. And now here she is in the car, and she's realizing that she's in for the biggest struggle of her spiritual life. She stares directly into the psychopath's right eye and wills herself to keep her gaze on him directly at all times. And the effects of her focus... she says that when she was able to hold her focus, this psychopath behind the wheel would gradually stop ranting and become tensely silent. And she wills herself not to weep or plead, but merely to use focus as an opportunity to empathize. And this was my first hint of sadness in listening to the anecdote as I found myself admiring certain qualities in her story that were the same qualities I had been contemptuous of when I first picked her up in the park! And then he asked her to get out of the car and lie prone on the ground. And she doesn't hesitate or beg. She was experiencing a whole new depth of focus so that she could hear the tick of the cooling car, bees, birds. Imagine the temptation to despair in the sound of carefree birds only yards from where you lay breathing in the weeds. And in this heightened state, she said she could feel the psychotic realizing the truth of the situation at the same time she did. And when he came over to her and turned her over, he was crying. And she claimed it took no effort of will to hold him as he wept... as he raped her. She just stared into his eyes lovingly the entire time. She stayed where he left her all day in the gravel, weeping, and giving thanks to her religious principles. She wept out of gratitude she says. Well I don't mind telling you, I had begun to cry at this story's climax. Not loudly, but I did. She had learned more about love that day with the sex offender than any other stage of her spiritual journey. And I realized in that moment that I had never loved anyone before. She had addressed the psychotic's core weakness. The terror of a soul-exposing connection with another human being. Nor is any of this all that different than a man sizing up an attractive girl at a concert and pushing all the right buttons to induce her to come home with him. And lighting her cigarettes and engaging in an hour of post-coital chitchat. Seemingly very intent and close. But what he really wants to do is give her a special disconnected telephone number and never contact her again. And that the reason for this cold and victimizing behavior is that the very connection he had worked so hard to make her feel terrifies him.        Do you see how open I'm being with you here? Well I know I'm not telling you anything you haven't already decided you know. I can see you forming judgments with that chilly smile. You're not the only one who can read people you know. And you know what? It's because of her influence that I am more sad for you than pissed off. Because the impact of this story was profound and I'm not even going to begin to describe it to you. Can you imagine how any of this felt? To look at her sandals across the room on the floor and remember what I had thought of them only hours before. And I'd say her name and she'd say "What?" and I'd say her name again. Well I'm not embarrassed-I don't care how this sounds to you now. I mean, can you see how I could not just let her go after this? I just-I grabbed onto her skirt and I begged her not to leave. And then I watched her gently close the door and walk off barefoot down the hall. And never seeing her again. But it didn't matter that she was fluffy or not terribly bright! Nothing else mattered! She had all of my attention-I had fallen in love with her! I believed that she could save me."
PEACEFUL WARRIOR Where are you? Here. What time is it? Now. What are you? This moment.   "I call myself a peaceful warrior because the battles we fight are on the inside."   Life has just three rules? And you already know them... Paradox, humour, and change. Paradox... Life is a mystery. Don't waste time trying to figure it out. Humour... Keep a sense of humour, especially about yourself. It is a strength beyond all measure. Change... Know that nothing stays the same.
	"When you have children, you will always have family. They will always be your priority, your responsibility. And a man…a man provides. And he does it even when he is not appreciated – or respected…or even loved. He simply bears up and he does it…because he’s a man."